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So it was getting close to a year, and I felt that I need to change the account page. Seeing that news blogs takes up a good chuck, it is best to start here.

Much has change. I guess I am different that I was a year ago. I use to consider myself a self proclaimed anarchist. Making explosives, using/selling drugs, vandalism, and various other small time shit. (p.s. I know it is sometimes idiotic to post this, but I don't think I will be involve in anything were this information is relevant) This was probably I had lived though usual teenage rebellion (due to living alone at 16 probably) and it stay with me after school. However, everyone has to get out of this lifestyle sometime, even if they are forced out like what happened to me.

The catalyst for all of this was the death of my brother. Not once in his lifetime has he done anything wrong, some would even consider him a saint... and I was in many ways his polar opposite. It is ironic, the kind of thing that any omniscient being would chuckle at. There I was expecting to die before I was 25 and my 15 yr old brother ends up with cancer... terminal.

Since then, I guess I am trying to honor his will. Slowly, I am educating people about some of the idiotic ideas associated with the life I use to live. I really don't care if anyone listens or not, but advice from a vet doesn't hurt. Still... I can honestly say that I miss that life, some of the moments that I felt truly alive was when my adrenaline was constant pumping during a so called "assignment." *sighs* Somethings I wish that I could find some wilderness and live off the land, but then how will I be able to share my knowledge with other people (because people wouldn't take kindly to a bearded guy who hasn't showered in months telling them about life).

As to what the future holds, I can't really say for sure. I might turn back, but that would be the easy path. Honestly, one plane ticket and I am back to doing what I did best, but recently I manage to convince a former friend to quit these assignments. Ended up saving his life because he told me that two friends of his were killed. To become names in police report, no investigation due to gang involvement... if they are even found... not a way to go in my opinion. Small things like this is the only thing keeping me going down the path I walk now.

I once mention in the previous post that I was slowly learning flash and might produce something some day. This is still true, but it is extremely unlikely due to lack of current motivation. If one ever does come out, it will likely be informative information, or my memories of some assignment. That pretty much sums the year up. I might post again if anything drastic happens or if another year has gone by (I will however edit this, somewhat often, since I hate typos and I might what to change to wording of some statement).

Can't forget the advice for this post:

Knowledge is truly power, I can't even begin to count the amount of times that I felt as if I survived an instance because I knew some about a deal, weapon, or even a tell a certain person has. Also I highly recommend reading and knowing about basic survival guides. I would hate to see someone bleed to death because they didn't know how to stop and artery bleed.